Save Your Hyphens

I have always believed that married couples who hyphenate their names might be thinking a little too much about today and a little too little about tomorrow in their desire to create their own indentity.

Hyphenated names seem to suggest that these couples are the center of the universe and have given little thought to logic, or their lineage or legacy for that matter.

Hyphenated names may work for them.  However, what would happen if everyone did the same?   Jessica Jones-Smith marries Jason Hewitt-Johnson.  Let's all welcome their first born...Ethan Jones-Simpson-Hewitt-Johnson.  I am not even sure where to put all the hyphens.  Just wait for the next generation after that.  They won't even be able to tweet their last name because it will exceed 140 characters!

One time when you do not want to hyphenate your name
Credit:joe-ks.com

If you are a female and don't want to assume your husband's name, I understand.  Keep your maiden name and give your child a break and choose one or the other of your two last names for her.  Forget the hyphens.  However, this Wall Street Journal story indicates that more college-educated women are adopting their husband's surname compared to the last three decades.

NPR has a story on all of this "When Hyphen Boy Meets Hyphen Girl, Names Pile Up" that outlines the problems.

Hyphenating has waned since its peak in the '80s and '90s, in part, experts say, because it's become less of a feminist statement and more of a bureaucratic nightmare. 

But also — as most "hyphens" will now tell you — it wasn't really sustainable anyway. Hyphenating was destined to hit a wall after one generation. 

Over the centuries, societies have figured out what works and what doesn't.  I always find it interesting how, despite all the previous years of societal experience, there are those that think they have found a better way. Hyphenated names is a small issue but it seems that it has taken just one short generation to show that it does not work.

Again, a reading of The Fourth Turning indicates that all of this is somewhat predictable.  If you have not read my previous posts on the book, The Fourth Turning, you can find out more here and here.

Third Turning periods such as the period in the 1980's and 1990's generally are characterized by weak families, a cynical culture, minimal gaps between gender roles and maximum individualism.  This is exactly the environment that the hyphenated name phenomenon grew from.  Fourth Turning's typically see strengthening families, a widening gap between gender roles, a practical culture and a rising attention to community over individualism as a social priority.

There is another issue in the news today that also does not work beyond the current generation.  That is not a small issue.  It will be interesting to see how the issue of gay marriage fares in The Fourth Turning. There is also the issue of the enormous amount of debt that has been accumulated within the last generation.  That is also unsustainable and we are destined to hit a wall very soon. 

All of this should be a lesson to us all to be a little bit more humble and realize that we are but passing stewards in this world we have been blessed with.  In the end, it is not just about us.

There have been millions of Americans in the past that put their lives on the line for future generations. The sacrifices that were made on the battlefields of Trenton, Gettysburg, Belleau Wood, Normandy and Iwo Jima were not done so much for that generation as it was done for future generations.  Have we become a nation that is just concerned about today and has totally forgotten about tomorrow?  Is it all about ME and not about US?  I certainly hope not.  However, the headlines everyday suggests otherwise. 

It is time we all practiced more humility as to what we have and what we owe future generations.  Let's start with the hyphenated names and work from there.