A number of years ago I came across an experiment in which preschoolers were placed in a room with a delectable snack right in front of them---a marshmallow or cookie.
The child was told that the treat was for them.
However, at that point the person running the experiment told the child they had to leave the room for 15 minutes.
The youngster is told they can eat the treat now but if they wait until the adult gets back they can have two treats rather than just one.
The original experiment was done by Stanford psychologist Walter Mischell in 1970 to attempt to measure the extent that self gratification early in life predicts later life success.
It can be quite humorous watching what children go through in order to maintain self control.
The researchers generally found that the children that were the most successful at overcoming immediate self gratification did things to distract themselves from the prize in front of them.
Here is a YouTube video of a couple of kids that did the experiment in the U.K.
If the video does not play in your browser here is the link.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8M7Xzjy_m8
I have done the experiment with all of my nine grandchildren.
Here is a photo from the first one I did with two of my older grandsons from almost a decade ago.
They both ended up with two marshmallows.
In follow up studies, Mischell found correlations between the results of the marshmallow experiment and success later in life.
Some have questioned the study and argued that a significant factor in whether a child in these experiments is willing to delay gratification is the level of trust they have in who made the promise.
Trust in believing there will really be a larger reward is undoubtedly a significant factor in delaying gratification that is right before you.
I recently came across another study (credit to https://x.com/sukh_saroy/status/2058099716790043074 who wrote a great summary of the research) that reinforced the importance of delayed gratification and self-control as a foundational element in a successful life.
It is referred to as The Dunedin Study that involved husband and wife researchers Avshalom Caspi and Terrie Moffitt.
It started in 1972 at a single hospital in Dunedin, New Zealand. Every baby born there in a 12-month window was enrolled. 1,037 of them in all. The study is still running 45 years later.
Incredibly, over 90 percent of the original participants are still being tracked. Most longitudinal studies like this fail to retain 50 percent of participants within 10 years.
The researchers measured everything. Blood. DNA. Brain scans. Income. Criminal records. Romantic relationships. Drug use. Dental health. Sleep. Mental health. Lung function.
They flew participants who had moved abroad back to Dunedin every few years for a full day of assessments. Some of those people now live in seven different countries. They still show up.
Perhaps motivated by Mischell's research a few years before, the researchers also measured each child's self control.
They watched 3-year-olds in a research lab and rated their ability to wait, regulate frustration, follow instructions, and resist impulsive reactions.
They added teacher ratings and parent ratings. They added the children's own self-reports as they grew older. They combined all of it into a single highly reliable score of self control
When those in the study reached age 32 they assessed adult outcomes for the group on their physical and mental conditions, substance dependence, financial difficulty, criminal convictions and single parenting.
Everything pointed to one critical element that separated those with successful vs. unsuccessful outcomes.
Self Control.
If you think about it, self control is central to so many of life's decision.
Do we choose yogurt or a doughnut for breakfast?
Do you choose to stay home and study the night before an exam or go to a party?
Do you go to bed with someone on the first date or kiss them on the cheek and go home?
Do you react with anger at the smallest offense or take it in stride?
Do you save for retirement or do you spend everything and more to live for today?
The study revealed that children with the highest self control traits had the best adult outcomes.
When they controlled for IQ, family income, social class, even the same parental upbringing (siblings), the result held.
In fact, it was also clear that the higher the self control scores were as children the better the outcomes as adults. Lower self control ended up with worse outcomes. There was a consistent correlation.
The finished paper they published in 2011 was plainly titled.
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| Source: https://dunedinstudy.otago.ac.nz/files/1651629222231.pdf |
Those that want to diminish the study's findings argue that the conclusion sounds like a life sentence handed down to a child before they even start living due to one single inborn trait.
However, the authors pointed out in the study that while some children had naturally higher abilities at self control, they saw improvements in self control between childhood and adolescence. Those individuals then ended up with adult outcomes far better than their early scores predicted.
Therefore, self control is not a fixed trait. It is a muscle than can be developed even through adulthood.
The reason adults struggle with money, weight, addiction, and relationships is rarely intelligence. It is the gap between what you want right now and what you want in ten years, and which side of that gap your nervous system is built to listen to.
However, self-control is the one childhood trait that nobody seem to focus on very much. Schools focus on test scores. Parents focus on activities for their kids or are too busy and do not have the patience to teach self control. Coaches focus on performance. The part of the brain that decides between five seconds from now and five years from now is left to develop on its own.
The data shows it usually does not develop very well by itself.
This leads to the question as to what improving a child's self control at a young age would ultimately mean to society overall?
Better health outcomes. Less crime. More financial stability. Better personal relationships and fewer one-parent families.
It would undoubtedly lead to a better society.
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| Source: https://dunedinstudy.otago.ac.nz/files/1651629222231.pdf |
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| Source: https://dunedinstudy.otago.ac.nz/files/1651629222231.pdf |
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